sense of what?

its a feelin inside of me that feels a sense of lost and yet at the same time knowing that it is for the better. is this the defination of FICKLE? or just the plain word of being CONFUSED? effort has been put into it and now i felt that it was rudely snatched away from me. starting only to reap its fruit, never to enjoy it. but right from the start.. it was a forbidden fruit. or do i just feel unappreciated/ abandoned/ neglected? i guess that means moving on and finding another path. it is an end to that chapter. an ending so abrupt so unexpected so un-ideal. i wanted the best.. not for myself surprisingly. i only know.. i am hurting inside. a closure.. a proper one.