My happy vitamin.. my mood changer.. Tiny..

how do i move on.. when i fell so hard in love w her? from the day she was born, she laid on my palms, so small, so frail, so adorable. already so small, she would move ard w her eyes still closed, so picture her running up and down when she was given the freedom... for her puny size and spunky character, we wanted to call her chilli padi but she was such an angel w no spark of a temper.. small in size, small in temper but big in heart! we named her TINY..  together with her brother, i knew my life was in for a great change.. 

what a change it was to be. my happy pills. Tiny was always there for me. yes, she was my co-habitat-or during my growing up years. Regardless of my mood, good or bad, sad or happy, being in a bitchy mood and all, she never failed to comfort me. she would just come by my side and be herself. she just came, offering herself defenceless to me.. Her senses went beyond her sight and smell, she just knew when I needed her… most.. I was always receiving, never returning.. I need her a lot.. and now..

she was the smartest and cutest dog one could ever have. We taught her tricks and toliet-trained her. But given my kind of temper, I wasn’t the most patient but she borne w me and rewarded me with her intelligence. She led her brother, Teddy, along to learn as well.

1)     I wake up to her greeting me at the stairway every day.. she would wag her tail and wait for me eargerly to come down. She attempts to go up the stairs but she knew that that was the no-oundary sign for her.. but as I get nearer the ground floor, she’ll just dash up a few more steps just to come to my lap.

2)     When I head out, she peeks at the doorway to see me off..

3)     When I’m home, she makes her way to the door to wait for me to open it and see her face once I open the door.

4)     She comes only when we are seated down on the floor. She wants equality as well. Then she’ll go onto your lap and lets u rub her tummy..  then she smiles so happily with her tongue out playing w her paws w u.

5)     She only goes to your lap.

6)     She loves playing ball, walk walk, apples and tomatoes. She actually knows these words and responses with complete enthusiasm when u say them. You start by saying.. ‘what do u want?’ and Baby girl will prick up her ears from even her most sleepy position and come to u. this greedy girl…

7)     She sleeps like a human being with all her four paws upwards at times

8)     She sticks out her tongue when she sleeps

9)     She hate the sound of thunder and always acts cosy w u when she sense that rain is coming

10)She comes to u when u are the only one at home.. she just rubs her back against your legs and stands on her 2 legs and reaches for your knee

11)She is knee height and so tries her best to scratch u for attention

12)She walks on her 2 legs to beg for her treats

13)She actas all sad when u try to hut her or when she knows she might have done something wrong. Her ears goes down, tails between her legs and walks towards her cage. To make up w u, she’ll crawl and sit on your lap.

14)She’ll walk over u when u are lying on the floor.

15)She sniffs at you when u smell her.. she just smells so good. Her fur is top grade! Soft and shiny,.. beautiful.

16)She has natural curls behind her ears.. the curls are whitish brown with a braided wave.

17)Her tail opens like a fan.. opening out the whites in it…

18)I use her wagging tail as a fan and as a blusher..

19)When she is coming to ucause u made her to, she’ll sit in front of your face with her butt facing u.

20)Her ears drop back when u pet her head.

21)U ask for kiss kiss and she’ll give it to u

22)She endearingly licks her brother clean between his eyes and ears.. everyday

23)She will even lick u when u are all smelly..

24)U can carry her up and down like a baby.. and she’ll resign to fate and let u have her…

25)She jumps ups your shoulder when she is excited.. she will even pounce on u.

26)She hates u to put a sock over her face.. the way she takes it out is super cute

27)She loves scratching the pillows on the chairs.. her form of pillow fight

28)She can walk wo a leash.. she’ll be right beside u.. she wont walk beyond your shadow.. u stop, she stops.. she’ll run after u if she is too far.

29)She wont let others walk her if u are ard. Even if u tug at her leash.. she wont let u move her..

30)She hates being in a car

31)She knows home when u say, ‘let go home’.. she’ll prick up and head towards the direction.

32)She knows the time to eat.. 6pm everyday.. she’ll start to act up and wait at 5. She’ll ‘break’ thru the kitchen doors. Once she knows the maid is done w cooking, she’ll bark for attention that its her turn to be fed after the humans. She knows she’s not allowed in the kitchen after cooking but still goes in.. and when u go in and stare, she will look remorseful and go out.

33)U nv can get angry w her when she smiles at u. she’s always happy.

34)She has her favourite spots at home where she sleeps and relaxes.

35)She knows papa is home by hearing out for the car sounds.. and starts to wait w teddy at the door. Teddy will bark while she walks super happily to the door.

36)She has a happy stride when she’s happy and excited

37)She grabs my attention by putting her 2 paws on my knees or on the chair that I am sitting on.

38)She runs after her own tail.. in circles.. that’s her trick for u.

39)She barks only to guard her territory at home from strangers

40)She is so mild, she nv bites.. even if u put your hand in her mouth, she nv bites it. Even with food, she gently takes it from your fingers

41)She goes to mummy for her breakfast bread crumbs

42)She’s our doorbell at home. If no one comes to the door, she’ll be there to get the attention for u w Teddy

43)She’s one of a kind dog, a special breed, my limited edition dog..

44)U could just squeeze her.. cause she looked like such a soft toy

45)Baby face.. my baby girl

46)She gets jealous when u show more attention to Teddy.. she’ll squeeze into the gap between u and Teddy to get u to stroke her

47)She’ll go the toilet for her bath time

48)She’ll let u cut her hair even though she’ll struggle w u once in a while.

49)U just wanna hug her and kiss her when u see her

50)She hates brushing her teeth and cutting her nails

51)i like to disturb her by saying she's ugly and stupid.. and all.. but she knew otherwise.. i wanted her attention too.. 

52)She scratches my toilet door when I am inside. Funny how she likes my presence even when im in the toilet. She doesn’t allow me to shut the door at her. Well,, I guess I ‘punish’ her by shutting her w me when I’m doing my ‘big business’. When im in physical pain of having a tummy ache.. she was there..

53)Tirelessly, she’ll be there.. so many so many..

She loved me… so unconditionally, everyday.. in my worst days and happiest hours, she’s there… nv argues w me, nv fights w me.. only playfully waits for me.. finds me.. always so positive..

Im not prepared to let her go, there were no signs.. just suddenly, she had a seizure after making her way home from the docs after a check up. How can I accept this. She knew who I was even though she was in a daze, she was so excited to see me when I came into the room.. I knew I had to step out to calm her down. In her final moments, she was so weak, she found the strength to look at me.. she still looked happy.. she just had that happy face… I couldn’t do it.. I couldn’t let go.. I let the doc keep going to keep pumping her heart, her lungs ad giving the shots. But I knew… when I saw the fluids turning red coming out from her small frame.. she couldn’t even hang on to me when I tried to carry her.. she felt like jelly.. she just gave way.. her body.. then. I knew.. I had o let her go..

She was the only 1 good thing that happened to me.. I can take all the unfortunate accidents, the physical pain, the heartaches that are momentarily, because, she was my pillar.. how do I now.. move on.. w/o her. Shit… I needed her so much more than she needed me.. as tiny as she was.. she was my everything.. i loved my days because of her.. I knew she’ll always take my side... only..   

Void.. I do feel useless w/o her..

I miss u.. TINY.. why?!!!