to do or not to do.. headache..

recieved a distressed phone call one day and was asked to be a listening ear of one of my gal fren's BGR problem she is facing.. here's a rough outline of her problem:

let Y be my fren.... and A be her BF.

A's a girls-kinda guy, very friendly (to Y, over-friendly), his close frens are mainly gals. so its common and regular for him to hang out with the gals; the whole day, the wee times in the night, even going for over-seas trip together. some of the close gals-frens are rather good-lookin and so Y feels threatened. A's frens shares many interest while Y shares with A only the emotional side.. Y feels very insecure and lets A knows about it. however, A doesnt see why Y has to kick a big fuss abt these issues.. he always lets her know who he is hanging out with, and even introduced her formally to all his frens as his gf.. Y however feels that A is not answering her qn and his actions doesnt reassure her.. when she throws a fit abt it, A completely ignores.. in the end, its always Y who makes the first move to apologises.. while A nv accepts the apologies with grace.. he continues his cold front and even becomes spiteful abt it.. A alwys hav the upper-hand in th erelationship.. Y doesnt hav a say in stuff cept for mayb where should they go to eat.. Y's tired of A's dominating nature and bullying tactics.. but Y has put in too much into this relationship and breaking up is not an option.. A uses the break-up word to his advantage to get his way and to be evasive abt things he doesnt wish to touch on.. A has the choice of being good and bad as ans when he wants to... but for Y, she has to always tolerate and be nice..

my analysis:
A's got a huge bunch of gal-frens.. yes, he still keeps in touch with his ex-s and he even hangs his crushes pictures in his room.. there are times he chooses time over Y to hang out with his other frens (gals).
A's not wrong....
BUT-- he always tellings Y abt them.. he never behaved sneaky or had to resort to lying to hang out with them..he even tries to include Y in his activities with them. he has frens, so they are mainly gals.. but when its the boys his hanging out with most of the time, another issue is raised.. 'y cant u share with me?? y always boys night??'
frens connect, at times, differently from GFs or BFs. there are stuff that may not be convenient to say.. they need an outlet.. and it can be easier to tok to frens too since they have no commitment towards them..
A's wrong...
BUT--he has to be more understanding towards Y abt his behaviour.. mayb Y doesnt hav a large frens network like A.. she has put A as her top most piority... A takes advantage of Y since he knows that he is on top in he heart.. he bullies her emotionally and get awya with it. dont be too cocky.. u will feel the pain if she does leave u.. cox now u are blinded by the love she is showering u, u dont realise that u love her as much too.. she shows it more explicitly.
Y has been understanding enough to let A hang out with his frens. she had never rasied an issue abt it until recently.. so mayb somethin is really wrong this time? give some reassurance.. Y is not trying to change A or strip him of his social life.. what she wants is that he learns when to give in to her and when to coax her. she wants to be part of his private life; just the special one to him. mayb tattoo her name on his forehead for all to see.. gals love to be pampered and loves to be loved.. they can live on love and go without bread and water.. really... they need to see or feel special every now and then to know that they are in their minds and hearts.. bring her out one night to gaze the stars or play the guitar downstairs and you'll (boys) have peace and a docile Gf for a month.. haa..

while on one hand i try to sort things out for my fren, advising her to be more forth-coming towards her BF, tactful confrontation, tell him out-right that she wants him to give her some form of reassurance..
on the other hand, i hav a problem with a close guy fren of mine.. i cant stand the fact that he has to lie to his gf abt having to hang out with his gal-frens. and he has to 'report his every moves to her.. while i can help iron things out for Y.. i am at a lost with this fren of mine.. mayb when u are a viewer, its easy to say, but when u are involived, its so much harder to do..

EASIER SAID THEN DONE!!--- soooo true...