Back to basics on--ENJOYMENT!!

I had lost my sense of fun. A friend dropped me a mail today and made me realise the things that I have been complaining about, being afraid of and my jealousy/ rivalry against some people, are actually coming out because I have lost sight about what fun is really all about.

Why I was actually in this sport, this game that I have decided to play. I made it a nightmare. It started out as a game should remain as a game, not a tool of destruction. Like quoted, life is kinda like a game. We should play it to enjoy it, the process, the result, the whole package. Dare to win, dare to lose, take the chances, play like there’s no tomorrow. Laugh at the good shots, laugh at the bad shots. Suddenly, I felt kinda enlightened. It is so true. To think I have been saying that I want to live life to the fullest, but I totally forgot the most fundamental part about life, that is to have fun and enjoy the good and bad about it. Living life to the fullest is to actually make oneself happy by doing and choosing what we want to do. So why am I not enjoying my life with my choices since I had chosen them??!!

Friends have been advising me and been talking to me, have been taking the punches and kicks from me. (Gosh.. I do feel bad..) What I have been hearing through out is that I have been my worse enemy—the CRITIQUE!! Learn to relax, learn to stay focus, learn to be patient, and learn to accept myself for who I am and what I can do. Don’t over-do it, don’t be impatient.. Sometimes, in life, I need these reminders. I admit, I am as much of a critique as well as being defensive about my decisions and actions. I was so defiant about their concerns because I think I AM RIGHT.. This is how wilful I can be. Maybe because I do know where they are coming from and had internally processed it before. So I already had the ‘answers’ whether rational or not.

This friend of mine struck the nail inside and I have no answer to this. Instead, it felt so encouraging, so true, so heartening. I was glad to be at a lost of words for these words from her. Her English may not be fantastic but I understood her well and clear. Thank you friends, for all your wise words and actions. Thank you friend, for really showing me light.